Life has been a bit too much recently. Work has been manic, and I feel like I spinning too many plates, and feel like I’m constantly treading water, barely keeping afloat. And so I thought it might be nice to count my little wins each day, however micro or absurd.

My little win today, managing to dash all the way back home from the City to pick up Baby-F’s diabolo – which he had forgotten at home – and drop if off at school for Circus Club.

He had asked the Clubs and PE teacher to email me to see if I could bring it to him at school. At first I said no, because it’s just not something that he can expect me to do – take at least 2 hours from my working day to be his courier.

But as it happens, I was at a conference today, and so actually had the flexibility to slip out briefly, missing a few sessions and the lunch break. And I know how Baby-F can be sometimes… really fixated and overly stressed about some, apparently minor things, and I knew that, for whatever reason… this would really matter to him, mindboggling though it was to me. And I thought: when the time comes, do I want him to remember that I cared about him, about the little things that mattered to him? Or that I never had time for him, and dismissed his needs?

So I dashed from the conference, dashed home, rushed to drop the diabolo off, and just managed to log onto a work call at a nearby cafe – a couple of minutes late – before zipping back to the conference after. I was drenched from all the running about.

When I picked him up from school, I asked him how he felt when he was first told I couldn’t bring the diabolo to him (he said “very angry”), and I asked him why it was so important for me to bring it to him (he said, because he didn’t want to go down in “circus history” as one of the kids who lost an apparatus…). I know that Baby-F, like his brother, is sometimes super sensitive. And occasionally about the strangest things.

But as Big Boy-O once said to me: “You are an adult, so you have adult logics. We are kids, so we have kids logics.” What can I say to that?